Such a tease…a cruel, cruel tease…

For the last 8.. maybe 9 years my husband has been a slave to his job. Working selflessly 12 hour days, 7 days a week traveling all over the United States.  When they called, he went-wherever they told him to go.  A lot of times he wouldn’t even get a day off in between jobs. Okay, maybe he did get ONE day off, but that day was spent driving the 14 hours or so it took him to get to the next job site.  He has worked his butt off and earned respect from his co-wokers as a great crane operator.  He could so easily be known as “the boss’s son” but he earned his respect.  He put in the 5 years or so to the apprenticeship going to EVERY mandatory training and missing out on jobs to do so, causing our family finances to dwindle dangerously low almost every time.  He has paid his dues and supported his Union.  He is truly great at what he does. Unfortunately because he is so trustworthy and talented his dad needs him for all his important jobs and he is gone almost year round.  Not only does Eric respect him as a boss, but he loves him as his father which means even if he didn’t want to go on a job because he was tired, burnt out or just plain missed his family; he quietly obeyed and went anyway.

For years Eric has dreamed of becoming a computer programmer. Every waking moment he is thinking about computers.  Whenever he has a spare second to himself his activity of choice is the computer. His preferred reading material are giant novel sized programming books; some of which were used in college courses that hes never taken, but bought the books to learn from independently! He eats, sleeps and breathe’s computer nerd components.  This is that one thing that he could spend the rest of his life doing and would always have a smile on his face.  It is the thing he can do and feel great about himself, the thing he knows he has taught himself EVERYTHING about and is proud of all that he has accomplished, and rightly so.

About a week ago Eric got an email from a friend who is working for a small company that got a major contract deal with a big company. (i’m sure the terminology of this description isn’t quite appropriate, but stay with me…) The email was a heads up that the company HR people were going to be sending Eric a request for an interview soon.  Literally a few days before he was scheduled to go back to work after having the last 5 months off (because of vacations and the death of my grandfather) he gets a computer programming job offer?? Cruel… just plain cruel.

He was SO excited and happy the first day, anxiously awaiting the email.  But that first day came and went… no email.  The second day came and went…. no email. Then his friend that contacted him in the first place informed him the company was sending out programing tests through email one by one and it was a timed test that needed to be completed as soon as you opened the email. OK, he studied all afternoon and prepared himself as best as he could…. No email. Finally Thursday came around and I knew his heart was breaking.  He was now out of time to call his father and get his position at the job in Nevada replaced.  Even if the email came between now and Sunday he had to go on this millwright job and made the decision that at this point come Sunday he was leaving for Nevada not knowing when he would be coming back.  It was the right thing to do, and I am SO proud of him, even if it breaks my heart to watch him have to walk away from his dream wondering if he will ever get another opportunity like this again.

Here is our prayer: There is a chance that “the email” might still come. According to this friend, it is surely on its way.. however this next week all the staff will be in Germany for a conference, SO if it doesnt come this weekend (highly unlikely) it will be atleast another week before he gets said email.  With that being the case, and considering how long it has taken just to send the initial email our hope and prayer is that they will continue dragging their feet and getting stuff in order so that maybe by the time they DO send the email Eric will be close to finishing this job and coming home.  Even if the origional plan is to go straight to another job, given enough notice he can sit down and have the conversation with his dad and then he wont feel guilty for leaving the “family buisness” and venturing into his dream career.  I hope that the timing works out perfectly so that the transition between careers can be smooth.  I pray that this company will understand his comitment to this job and his father’s buisness and possibly respect him more for it. That his honesty and moral ethics will spark and interest in them and they will be willing to wait however long they need to in order to get him to work for their company.

The selfish part of me also prays that this Nevada job does not keep him the estimated time frame that has been set.  I have been spoiled the last few months having him home, having his clothes hung up in the closet… that horrid duffle bag folded up and tucked away, having his truck parked in the bag and not been moved in a long time.  Being able to cook family meals, have Lazy saturday mornings makign eggs and bacon at 11am then watching movies and reading magazines during the kids nap time and just enjoying doing nothing together…. moments I am SO grateful for and will miss dearly.  The kids have loved having daddy around. My girls are so attatched to him and adore him, it will be hard when he leaves.  I know there will be a lot of tears and very little I can say to make it better.  The mom in me prays that he does not have to be gone past Thanksgiving.

Sometimes life can be such a tease; to dangle an opportunity in our face and then take it away… or simply never completely offer it in the first place; leave us waiting for an answer, waiting for the final test or the door to open after being called to wait by the door in the first place. cruel… just plain cruel.  Right when I started believing that maybe, just maybe our entire lives would change and the kids would not have to say goodbye to their father, ON his birthday…. the hard hitting truth comes into view and we are faced with the last 24hrs before he has to leave.  How to make the best of these moments while still having to pack and brace ourselves for the inevitable separation? How to smile and enjoy these moments together without crying? How to prepare the children for this day that has avoided us for so long… especially the youngest one who doesn’t remember a time when daddy wasn’t here but will clearly notice his absence now.  Ugh. Please pray for our family.  The next few months will be hard on all of us… I know a change is coming, I feel it, I believe it… I have to.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Chauncee Hood
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 21:53:11

    Oh Rabecca…hugs and prayers to you my dear friend. On bended knee for you all during this time. Please know that we are here for you. If there is anything we can do to help while Eric is gone, please let me know. We love you guys!

    Reply

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